Losing my culture
Losing my culture to what?
At the benefit to whom?
Is it equal rights vs. culture?
Thirty year what do we have to show?
What did we learn?
How has it changed?
Was it worth it?
Holding onto my language by the tip of my tongue, which explains the accent I have in my native tongue. In the hopes to be accepted then just maybe tolerated by whites. Trading in my identity to survive long enough to see the hope of thriving in a system that oppresses through transparent policies, practices and structures.
Some cultures were based upon community, inclusive of others beyond the self. It contained a role for every member, where playing the role was the privilege in itself. This is what was equal not out of power but of kinship and membership to each other. Through processes and practices inequity was born. With the understanding that culture is not innately unequal.
The proof is in the pudding, we all chose to swim in. The manifestation of internalized racism: the idea that American dream applies to us. Our color-blinded self moves to the suburbs buys American made cars, goes clubbing, divorce, drinking, and gambling. Refusing to abide by the roles that once led a tribe over generations of war, triumph, and colonization. We go hunting for a glimmer of connection to escape it all. We have Hmong women going to college, working full-time while being a full-time student, mother, daughter and family member. Some single Hmong women seeking Hmong men. Broken families. We have children dealing with men who can't seem to understand one woman is enough. We live in a culture now where children not only are disrespectful to elders but they have no respect.
The lessons learned may not fully surface until we have completely lost what resemblance of culture remains.When its too late, the elders have reincarnated into their destiny, the tones no longer sound different from each other. Shall we wait until the day the smell of freshly steamed rice, boiled greens, and boiled chicken in herbs is replaced with a Big Mac, deep fried mac and cheese, and chicken nuggets. We move from urban schools to suburban schools instead of fighting the injustice no amount of red lining can erase. We shifted from teaching our descendants the importance skills of community to the extreme "model-minority" embracing whiteness like its a pill we can take. We now coat our leadership ways with aligning to the perpetuation of our own and accepting the fear, there isn't " enough" to go around or shared. Instead of mentees and learners the opportunity to teach and learn is, missed. The result leaving the next generation to know no other way, but color-blind, culture less, and bound to repeat history.
